I AM GOLDEN PEACE

 

 

February 27, 2009

Please allow me to make some creative parallels between the journey of C.S.Lewis from atheist to showing evidence of believing in God and my firm belief that there are currently numerous people throughout the world that are making the journey from prejudice, anger and hate to peace.

The following are a few points from a documentary I just watched.  Quoted from C.S.Lewis' autobiography, Surprised by Joy - "I was at this time (age 10 to 33) living, like so many atheists... in a whirl of contradictions.  I maintained that God did not exist.  I was also very angry with God for not existing.  I was equally angry with him for creating the world."   He kept looking for reasons not to believe and kept finding things that kept saying maybe believing in God is not so bad.  He loved myth, but it wasn't fact.  It was false.  That's the same category he put God in.  J.R.Tolkien discussed this with him and showed him that these older myths were glimpses that people received of what was going to happen.  At one point myth became fact.  That myth is not false.  It participates in truth.  There are all these different story lines that each reflect truth.  Myth has the ability to express the universal human experience.  In the book by C.S.Lewis, A Grief Observed, he says "Sometimes my prayer life is like pounding on a door that is bolted shut from the other side."  But now (age 60+) he knew God was on the other side.  He doesn't understand why the connectedness isn't there that he wants.

I believe the Earth can, in our lifetime, be a world without war.  Many wouldn't even be so generous as to call this myth.  Yet are there not at this moment numerous people in every country seeking ways to get beyond anger, beyond prejudice, beyond hate?  I answer a resounding yes.  They are finding that maybe letting go is as simple as that, letting go.  And there are many others seeking reasons to stay angry and finding reasons not to.  They are finding that maybe peace is not so bad.  With enough of us seeking peace, seeking greater understanding of a true connectedness with God with no bolted doors; we see that the myth of oneness with God becomes fact, the myth of a world without war becomes fact.  In my universe there is peace.

February 26, 2009

Awake! Awake mankind awake. Feel the light. Feel the love. Make the call. These are the words to a song I was given a couple years ago. What does it mean to live life awake and conscious and fully free to make real choices? What does it mean to be spiritually awake, to know our true identity in God? What is the call and is it different for each one and at different times?

February 25, 2009

Change.  What helps a person remain at peace thru the stress of change?  I suspect it's a 'take as it comes' attitude.  One in which a person feels confident that whatever spontaneous reaction they have to any situation is acceptable to one's own self.  Certainly avoiding worrying about potential outcomes.  A person might allow various potential scenarios to run thru their mind in order to sort of rehearse different ways they want to feel confident dealing with them, but just in a playful manner, not a fearful manner.  Yet, also allowing awareness of what ever fears begin to be revealed and addressing the source as quickly and efficiently as possible.  It's better to take time out to address a triggered fear then to put it on hold, but we don't always have that option.  Sometimes we impose unrealistic expectations on ourselves that increase the stress of change, rather than decreasing it.  May we each have peace thru what ever changes we are experiencing.

February 24, 2009

There is an active component of peace and a passive component. What do I really know about these components and how they manifest and compliment each other? I think of passive peace as simply being. It seems like people might be able to sense this peace, but not necessarily internalize it. Perhaps this component has a gentler, quieter quality. Like I might consider some other person to be very peaceful without recognizing that I can be just as peaceful. Or I might consider an environment peaceful, with out realizing that I can absorb that peace into myself. So then the active component of peace is something I consciously send out to give someone the choice to absorb it or internalize it as they wish. When I think of active, I tend to think of creating, sending out, providing the opportunity for a choice. Just some thoughts. Please share your insights. If you use the comment button to the left, please be sure to include the word peace in your comment.

February 23, 2009

Freedom. Why do we work so hard to fully understand ourselves? To have lovely days like today. It was another beautiful weather day, but more, it was just plain fun. Even just acknowledging the Shadow Self is making a difference. As I try to put it in words here, I recognize that I'm no longer fighting with myself. Understanding has again brought a deeper level of inner peace and with it more self-confidence. Even my friend's horses noticed.

February 22, 2009

In this neck of the woods it was the most gorgeous day yet this year. I went to a friend's place to ride horses. What horses keep mirroring to me is that I'm too tentative and meek around them. It makes them nervous because they wonder what could be wrong that I would be so tentative. I'm learning though. I did have a wonderful ride.

February 21, 2009

Responsibility and relaxation. Balance in all things. Well the next day objectivity and calmness went out the door and I was determined to be free once and for all. It did bring me face to face. Psychologists call it the shadow self, that which a person doesn't wish to own up to, that which one has been taught to be ashamed of, that which feels it must hide. They say if a person can resolve the shadow self, it releases their inner creativity, energy and empowerment. I really don't know. The only thing that comes into my mind is to love all life free, so I guess that includes myself.

February 20, 2009

Sometimes processing sucks.

February 19, 2009

Objectively and calmly monitoring one self. For months now I've been trying to free myself of something. It's not constant, I just gently notice "Oh that happened again" and then ask myself some questions. Why did I do that? Was I fully conscious when I did that? What benefit is there in this action? What do these episodes have in common? Every few days I have a little "aha" that gets me closer to freedom. It appears to be working to raise my consciousness above this condition. Perhaps this objective monitoring and questioning can help you gain greater freedom in some section of your life, also.

February 17 & 18, 2009

I utilize a visualization to help bring me peace sometimes; but when I went to put it into words to post here, it was very difficult to give it form. It's been a while since I heard the teaching that gave me this visualization, so I won't even try to be accurate for those who recognize the teaching. This is just a picture I internalized and use. You know how some pictures actually show a line as the axis the Earth spins about. I visualize a line slightly slanted off vertical (the way they show the Earth's axis) and at the very center of this line sits Gautama Buddha in absolute stillness. Somehow I don't mean a stillness of lack of motion. I do mean a stillness of perfect Peace. In my visualization I inhabit the sphere of space that rotates slowly about this line. So instead of a planet it's a bubble of space. I'm not on the surface, but can be anywhere within the bubble at different distances from the line. So I'm a speck in the sphere of space that is rotating slowly about the line where Gautama Buddha sits in perfect peace at the center. The amount of unrest I feel is the distance of my spec from the Buddha. To re-establish peace within myself I simply move my spec to the center and merge with the Buddha. So it's taken all these words to paint my vision for you. But once you have the vision, it only takes a fraction of a second, or a breath, to move your own spec from where ever it is in this sphere of space to the center and experience the perfect inner peace of the Buddha.

February 16, 2009

I CHOOSE LIFE! Long ago in a time of intense physical and emotional pain, I cried out from the depths of my soul to God saying I did not want to be alive. In other times when the pain of shame was too intense to bear I screamed that I did not want to exist. I've long since healed and allowed the healing of the sources of such pain. Yet even though I said the words and put that on the cosmic mirror; in reality I chose life, for I did live. So perhaps what truly got put on the cosmic mirror was the choice to live beyond the pain. Then for awhile I resented that I "wasn't allowed" to die or to cease to exist. Thank you God for helping me through. I've moved so far beyond all this, to enjoying life. I'm even often complimented on my laugh. Yet, the shadow of a sadness pursues me. Until tonight it hadn't occurred to me to go back and remake these decisions. And so I do. I state here and now that I am ever so humbly grateful for this life that I am living. My dearest Father God, thank you for creating me, for giving me being. I choose to be more than alive. I CHOOSE TO BE WHAT I WAS CREATED TO BE. I am a daughter of God and I AM becoming More along with my Creator.

February 15, 2009

Can I truly believe that I am as pure and perfect as the day I was created? I would certainly prefer to be who God thinks I am. But even more I would prefer that who I think I am matched who God thinks I am. There is still a leap in consciousness for me to make regarding how we co-create ourselves in oneness. Help us all to come into unity with God's vision.

February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day is a lovely day to honor my Aunt Florence. I got to know her for more than 20 years of my life. It must be more than 20 years since she died. Absolutely every single family member speaks of her with loving fondness. Everyone loves to remember her and share what experiences they had with her. The quickest way to bring a smile is to mention her. The very thought of her melts people's hearts and brings peace. She had a way of meeting each person on their territory. She had a fun loving, adventurous, gentle, peaceful way. I suspect she prayed for the family each day, just like my Mom does now. She had a huge and generous heart. Here's to all the people throughout the world who know how to love.

February 13, 2009

Oh my, I have been laughing for three hours. This group of 8 to 12 women gets together once a month. It so nice to have good clean fun. Isn't it amazing how healing laughter is? I am very peace filled and think I will sleep nice and deeply tonight. May you each have something that gives you a full belly laugh sometime today.

I also happen to have picked up an American Indian Medicine Card. This particular one says "You don't have to defend your right to be!" Learn to "politely say that something would not be appropriate for you at this time" without offering an excuse. Sometimes "the best strategy is no defense. In assuming the viewpoint of no defense, you have chosen the right to be who and what you are with no games involved."

February 12, 2009

I used to think that self-respect meant demanding certain courtesies from other people. Then it was more a knowledge and trust of myself, a dignity projected. Now it's more allowing myself to be who I am, where ever I am, while at the same time choosing to be the best me in the moment. So too, has my conception of respect for others migrated from focusing on showing courtesy, to taking steps to know people better and trust more, to allowing others to be who they are while seeking ways to help them be closer to their higher vision of themselves.

February 11, 2009

"I am sure you will agree that expecting sunny weather has little impact on the actual weather. So your expectation will have no influence on whether it will be sunny or cloudy in the morning. Yet, your expectation does have an impact on whether it will be sunny or cloudy inside your own mind. If you expect sunshine but wake up to a cloudy day, you might have some kind of negative reaction, possibly even a reaction that puts you in a bad mood for the rest of the day. An expectation has no positive impact on what will actually happen in the world outside of you, but it has a potentially negative impact on what will happen inside of you."

Quoted from Master Keys to Personal Christhood.

February 10, 2009

Some people had an excellent discussion on if and when expressing anger is appropriate. What I got out of the discussion is that they seemed to agree that any expression of anger is inappropriate, except perhaps in a therapy situation for a brief time. It's best if a person's feelings flow freely. If a person has been stuffing and denying anger, they may need to express some anger to remove the block. But that it is more healthy to not make a habit of this. They seemed to feel that once the blockage is removed, a person has a choice on rather to respond to a new situation with anger or some other emotion. I wondered if I could actually freely express emotions and at the same time choose on the spur of a moment what emotion I want to express. In the first situation today I feared someone was going to trash 8 hours of my work. It seemed that the agitation was spoken before I even had a thought. However, almost immediately I recognized the fear behind the reaction, regrouped, and calmly negotiated not throwing away the work. In the second situation today I asked someone not to place me in a difficult situation and they insisted on it. I immediately caught the agitation rising and did indeed CHOOSE not to become agitated. The truth and a small joke disarmed the whole situation and I had maintained my peace. So it appears that I can allow feelings to flow freely and still choose the emotion in the moment. Wow! I think I'll practice some more.

February 9, 2009

It feels so good to accomplish goals. I still have a ways to go, but it is vastly improved. So many times I thought I let go of the heaviness that held me back, but I would always justify the slips back to the old patterns. Then someone suggested each time people gave in to an unwanted behavior, they are actually giving away energy. I started picturing it this way. One example is that it would take a huge force of will to stop playing a computer game, like Math Lines. It was hypnotic. I pictured that in choosing to play this game, I created a creature. The creature would encourage me to play the game more, because that would feed the creature. Yet feeding the creature was giving away the light God gave me to do more creative things. Now when various distracting temptations arise, I remind myself that I don't want to risk giving away energy. I remind myself that I decided in my spirit to accomplish what ever this goal is and so that's where I need to focus my energy.

February 8, 2009

The simplest definition of creative is more. Every time we make a decision to be more, we make a creative choice. No wonder it doesn't matter where we are on the path. A choice to be more can be made from anywhere. How cool is this!

February 7, 2009

I was placed on this planet to _________. My greatest pleasure comes from accomplishing this. There are people who can actually, truthfully fill in that blank and mean the next sentence. It was always a great source of turmoil for me that I couldn't ever feel like I could honestly fill in that blank. I think the greatest gift of peace I received was when I recognized and accepted that I have been doing exactly what I was placed on this planet to do. Perhaps I still can't put it into words enough to fill in the blank, but I know in my heart that we each are doing, learning, teaching, being, overcoming, enduring, transmuting, whatever. Finally, I'm allowing myself to have fun while I'm at it, are you?

February 6, 2009

I was in a small restaurant that serves beer and wine. It's a local hang out for that area and had a live band setting up to play that night. I started out picturing space filled with light around each person to help them look at what ever they needed in that moment to grow. I got to wondering what this restaurant would be like if everyone there were interested, not only in self-growth, but in helping each other grow. I wondered if and how the conversations would be different. I pictured a golden ball being passed around each cluster of people. One speaker would say something uplifting and another would chime in and then they would respond with something uplifting to the first speaker. I also thought about how the music would be light, energetic and uplifting rather than bouncing. I figured that in place of beer and wine, there could be drinks that are really good for people (actually carrot juice came to mind, but it wouldn't cost $5 for 6 ounces). I couldn't quite figure what the food would be like. That whole restaurant experience could actually change in the blink of an eye, just by people deciding they want to experience something different.

February 5, 2009

No Posting

February 4, 2009

Looking at yesterday’s events with more objectivity; I can see that these people’s actions were coming from a predatory consciousness. We’re told that what happens in the physical has already happened in the spiritual. That tells me that these events were a wake up call to tell me what I already knew. I’m allowing predators in the spiritual realms to get away with too much. I need to enforce tighter boundaries and better self-discipline. Being nice to these people, who acted like professional predators, was like giving animal predators the smell of blood. They became more and more energetic in their efforts. For a while I actually encouraged this behavior, rather then recognizing it and shutting it down. I enforced some boundaries, but I was way too gentle in my approach. I’ve been asking why I’ve been ineffective with some spiritual energies that have plagued me. Learning from yesterday’s events can provide some of my answers.

Another observation is regarding trusting my instincts, allowing myself to act more from an intuition level. I didn’t come from my heart and give what was appropriate. I came from the sympathetic mental and the joy of giving was lost.

February 3, 2009

I allowed some people to take advantage of my generous heart. When I recognized that they were out to get all they could from me, I felt angry. I gave them far more than I originally intended and far less than they requested. What is here for me to learn? They were being as they are and teaching their children the same ways. Why did I expect different from them? I discounted the warning I received, because I felt I had unfairly stereotyped them. Why did I become angry with myself for being duped? I take everyone at face value, knowing that most people have hidden agendas. Then I get angry when I see the hidden agenda. This does no one any good. I didn't help them come up a step on their path.

February 2, 2009

Actually what seemed to help was an inner sense of confidence from having accepted that I would become competent. I relaxed more and learned more. I also took more responsibility for what I wanted to focus on learning and asked more questions.

A little side story. What I'm doing is trying to learn more about horses. I was actually complimented today for getting a horse that loves to run to walk. Well it wasn't because of handling, it was because the horse decided to walk. Before I mounted, I sent mental images of the horse walking and he chose to be gentle and patient with me. A couple hours later he sent me images of running across the field. What I wanted to share with you is that the horse didn't just share the image, but the sensation of freedom. It was such a lovely feeling that he shared with me. Luckily the owner will take him for a run tomorrow.

February 1, 2009

Learning to Learn. I've been doing a lot of new things lately. I think I will greatly increase my inner peace by learning to enjoy learning. I have a tendency to think "I should have known that" when I first learn something. First, it's a form of self-criticism that does not induce peace and erodes self-confidence. Second, it's a "should," which we are learning not to place on ourselves or others. Third, it's illogical, I suspect that somewhere in the definition of learning is starting from a place of not knowing. :) I'm getting caught on things that others seem to consider basic. I've told my family and friends that these new people are amazed at the extent of my ignorance. It is said humorously, but it reeks of self-criticism and perhaps more dangerous, a desire to please. One thing I need to remember is that in almost every arena there is a specialized common database, a framework that the experienced of that arena consider "common" knowledge or common sense. It takes time for a new person to cue into that base of common sense. Surely there is a peaceful way to thrive on experimenting. Oops.

Oh, I see. I'm broadcasting "I should know" so I'm getting mirrored back surprise when it's obvious I don't know. If I broadcast the truth "I don't know and I'm willing to learn;" perhaps I'll start picking up on less surprise from the more experienced, who are instructing me. And perhaps it has less to do with me and more to do with their expectations. We'll see. I'll try the experiment.

 

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