October 22, 2013
Have you ever thought of yourself as a crystline matrix of energy radiating light? I was in a meditation class and the teacher said: "You need to broadcast your light!" Well, I didn't know I wasn't; so I asked a friend how she perceived me. She said that with the PTSD so strong still, that I "play my cards very close to my chest." I do call for help from whichever ascended master would be most appropriate to help me free myself from the mis-perceptions and fears that hold me back. I choose to send out gratitude for my peace-filled life in place of the fears. I choose to be a shining beacon of light. In the mean time, I see my protection as an unbreakable glass window that allows me to shine my light, while still feeling protected. (If you are not sure what I mean by protection, I describe it here http://www.iamgoldenpeace.com/Protection.html)
October 22, 2013
Teaching oneself happiness is not as easy as it sounds. I had hoped the inner child work I've mentioned on the peace website would get rid of "that which hijacks." But as I cycled through the same old temptation, I slipped into the same old patterns. The good news is that I recognize it quicker and stop it quicker. I apparently still need to work on recognizing that my inner child is not "that which hijacks." "That which hijacks" requires a firm, strict hand. My inner child needs a loving, gentle acceptance. A loving gentle acceptance of "that which hijacks" just keeps me from what I would like to accomplish. In order to deal effectively with "that which hijacks," I have to really be focused on being present. I hope it is easier for you to be truly present in your own life.
October 14, 2013
Those who have experienced survivor's guilt might recognize the feelings behind this posting. And to all those who have had experiences where other people died and they survived and have not reacted or taken on survivor's guilt; I give you a toast. Well done. But I had the opportunity to strip away another layer of the onion. And, of course, one always hopes it is the core of the onion. As someone was speaking, I recognized in them the pain that they were not speaking about. Now, perhaps I projected my own feeling upon them in order to trigger what I needed to look at. And perhaps I did, indeed, recognize the feeling that they were not speaking. But, as they spoke, I FELT it. I just acknowledged and felt the feeling until the next day. Oddly, the fear of sleeping and not waking up is also tucked in there. And then, while I was looking in the mirror, I started having a conversation. And in this conversation I said: "Rosemarie, you have been judged and found guilty of living." If you say that VERY harshly, you will get some of the feeling. And almost spit the word 'living.' After a few hours I recognized that the pain was not in the word 'living.' The pain is in the word 'guilty.' Several hours of processing later, I asked myself: "Who is the judge and jury that found me guilty?" Certainly, no one other than myself. Certainly, not in the least any one of the those that died. So, I have the power of judge and jury. Change the decision. Change the ruling.
Rosemarie, all charges against you have been dropped. You are free to live. You will leave this court without the slightest particle of guilt. You will sleep soundly, with full knowledge of being able to awaken fully refreshed. You are free to live your life, and that more abundantly.
I expected to feel a great deal more joy. But, on this new morning, awakened from a RESTFUL night of sleep; I recognize that as I taught myself unhappiness, I get now to teach myself happiness. Perhaps I need to add to the ruling: "You are free to feel happiness in EVERY part of your being."
Many blessings and much love to all who read this. And especially to those who are also willing to let go of another onion layer of survivor's guilt in whatever your circumstances have been. And I send a special blessing to the person that was speaking on Sunday, who gave me this great opportunity.
View from the mountain top I hiked up while processing the feelings of survivor's guilt. A friend felt it was symbolic that I didn't think I could hike that far and I did, while reclaiming the energy that has been tied up in these feelings.
October 14, 2013
Baaal-loooooons!!! Yahoo!!! The past week was the balloon fiesta in Albuquerque. There is something so joyful about seeing so many hot-air balloons floating in the sky.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albuquerque_International_Balloon_Fiesta
And we got to go to the glowdeo Friday night. The special shape balloons inflated, remained tethered and lit their burners after dark. And then a spectacular fireworks display. It is such a fun time of year. And back on Tuesday I got to take some people to see the maples turning color in Fourth of July Canyon. And Saturday I went to the Jemez and saw that the cottonwoods there were starting their color show.
October 9, 2013
In a class I just started I got some interesting homework that I'd like to share. Ask Divine Love to "companion" us each day. Write where we would like to see Divine Love manifesting in our lives. Put the pen down. Focus on breathing deeps breaths. Believe we are receiving Divine Love on the in breadth. Believe we are sharing Divine Love on the out breadth. (I used this technique quietly at a recent party, also. It's so simple. I love it.)
The next day start with writing down how we experienced Divine Love or how it manifested the previous day. Then write what we would like to see manifest today. Then focus on breathing in Divine Love and sharing it on the out breadth through several cycles.
Also, write what we can do for Divine Love. It's unconditional, so this doesn't mean what conditions we need to meet. In fact, we might want to look at how any conditions we think of might block our receiving of Divine Love. What we can do for Divine Love means how we can share Divine Love in our daily lives (like simply focusing on receiving and sharing while we're breathing at a party or in a meeting or at work or shopping or with our family). It could also mean meditating on a higher service for honoring Divine Love.
October 8, 2013
Kim Michaels has written a new book that is available from Barnes and Noble or Amazon. It is entitled The Spiritual Road to Self-Esteem and it is quite useful for identifying a new goal for self-esteem.